Someone tell me where all the toilet paper went?

Posted bykeenteenbeanPosted inUncategorized

So here’s the deal. I went to the grocery story to get some toilet paper. After all, toilet paper is a normal part of my life. And another normal part of my life is walking into the toilet paper isle at the grocery store and seeing all the white, fluffy goodness neatly packaged with plastic and love.

But it is not a normal day.

So when I get to the toilet paper isle, the shelves are empty. Empty! Empty I say!

Empty.

And my heart is empty as well, for I love toilet paper, you see. But it is all gone. What I would have given even to see one of those creepy cartoon bears that are always rubbing their face all over the toilet paper because its so soft.

But no.

Empty.

And I’m told it’s because of this corona guy. Whoever that jerk is.

Maybe Corona is just a regular guy, with a regular life. Maybe he likes toilet paper as much as me. So when he won the lottery he decided to go buy out the toilet paper at Costco. I don’t blame him. I probably would have done the same.

But that can’t be right. There’s no way he’d fit that all in one cart.

Maybe Corona is a politician. Yeah, that’s got to be it. Corona is a politician, and everyone is buying out the toilet paper so they can go toilet paper his house during election month.

I would do that too. IF ONLY THE TOILET PAPER WASN’T GONE!

Or maybe Corona is a very awful monster (no, not a politician.) And he’s repelled by toilet paper, like a vampire with garlic. Or those 80s gremlins with sunlight. Or pizza by pineapple.

Wait, you mean you haven’t heard the pizza screaming when it has pineapple on it? It sounds like this:

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Translated: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Well whoever this Corona is, he’s really messing with my life. After all, I need my toilet paper.

Image result for empty toilet paper shelves corona virus

25 thoughts on “Someone tell me where all the toilet paper went?”

      1. ok i have narrowed it down to three suspects:
        1: he is a russian spy
        2: he is the ugly ducklings twisted stepsister that nobody ever talked about so she just stewed in rage and now wages war against the toilet paper industry for no reason whatsoever
        3: its George Bush.
        i will get back to you about which of these suspects is in fact the corona guy

        Like

      11. lol we always get into these weird conversations and now people are gonna see your post with like 15 comments and be like “HOLY SHIZ WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED ON THAT POST” so your welcome for the extra clickbait 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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