William walked down the hallway to his dorm room. He made sure to blink every few seconds, and also to expand his chest to mimic breathing. The hallway was crowded with other freshman, many carrying bags and talking with each other. William bumped into a few of them, but luckily they didn’t do more than mumble an apology. He noticed that most of the guys were socializing instead of going into their rooms.

Try to act normal.

He looked around for someone to socialize with.

William wasn’t an average college student. He didn’t have the years of experience you get from going through elementary school, middle school, and high school. He didn’t have experience from home school either. In fact, he had been built into existence only a few months earlier.

“Come on, come on.”

A switch clicked. A whir of fans. A deep, nervous breath.

“Um, hey robot. Open eyes.”

As commanded, the robot’s eyes flew open, and he saw his master smiling down at him.

“Finally!” His master sighed. He studied the robot. “Can you move around? Can you speak?”

“Yes master.”

The robot sat up and got off the table he was on to demonstrate.

“It’s a little clumsy,” master mumbled. “But so are humans. It’ll blend in better this way.”

He looked the robot over again. “Listen up,” he said. “Your name is William, and you are going to be me so I don’t have to.”

“Yes master William.”

“No,” Master said. “Don’t call me William. It’s Will. But your going by William so you don’t have to draw attention to yourself by correcting people.”

“Yes Master Will.”

“So, William, you are going to go to college for me tomorrow. Try to act normal. And don’t get caught. I would get in so much trouble if people found out about this.”

As soon as the commands were said, William was internalizing them. Every part of him needed to fulfill his masters wishes. He felt these orders overtake all others thought, all he want, all he needed, was to do as his masters said.

“And now that I’m done building you, I can finally get back to playing fort nite.”

William was filled with shame. He didn’t want to be a burden on his master.

“Why take the time to build me, Master Will?” He dared to ask.

“Because it will be worth the investment.”

Master turned on the tv and slumped into his beanbag.

“Also, can you calculate any problems with you going to college real quick?” Master Will asked.

The analysis was done in 3.96 seconds.

“People may notice if I don’t eat or use the bathroom.”

Master shrugged, his eyes on his screen as he set up a game. “Just fake it.”

“I may have too much or not enough knowledge.”

He sighed. “You’re programmed to be mediocre, and you can literally do a google search to find out anything you need to know. Any real problems?”

William blinked, because that’s what a normal person would do. “I don’t feel like a real human, if someone were to touch me. Wouldn’t they realize that my body is fake?”

Master waved a dismissive hand. “You’re squishy enough. Just don’t go kissing any girls and you should be fine.” He winked.

This was added to Williams list of commands. The ones he couldn’t disobey.

Dang it.

I have pants. This clue might help you guess who I am, because now you can rule out all the creative writing students that don’t wear pants. I hope this didn’t ruin all the fun to give away who I am, but the fact that I wear pants is an essential piece of information for this post. So I’ve sacrificed my identity for this post. Because, really, there aren’t a lot of people that wear pants. And since you know that I wear pants, you’ve probably guessed exactly who I am. I would congratulate you on figuring it out, but it wasn’t even that hard. I might as well have just said my name. I might even do it to prove a point.

But we’re getting off topic now.

Pants. Those things you put on your legs. They come in many colors and sizes and materials. And also pants is plural, even thought there’s only one. Like if you were like, “Can you go get a pair of pants for my twins.” They would bring you one even though you asked for a pair. Because this is the cruel world we live in, where you’re taught how to count but, SURPRISE this one object is actually two things in one so count THAT little four year old.

Well I have a pair of pants (one). I should say I had a pair. They went missing, I’m afraid. I couldn’t find them anywhere. No matter how many times I checked my drawer, they did not reappear. I decided they had probably made their way to wherever the lost socks go.

But then I found them.

On my ten-year-old brother.

Now since you already know who I am, I can tell you that I am a high school girl, and I am not the size of a ten-year-old boy. So my brother had worn these ill-fitting, very big girl pants to school multiple times. And when I realized he was wearing my pants, I asked for them back.

What he said was, “Can I just wear them to school?”

😐

I think the moral of the story here is:

Don’t wear pants. They’re not worth it.

Anyone want to go kilt shopping?

I’d never seen her face without a smile. Jokes and laughter came so easily to her, always tumbling out of her mouth. A bundle of energy, always surrounded by friends. And always happy. I’d never seen her not happy.

Until now.

Her eyes were red from crying, her cheek still streaked with tears. Her hair disheveled and tangled. Not a smile in sight.

I didn’t know why she was crying. There didn’t seem to be any real reason. She had never seemed like she was going through pain. You can’t smile when you’re sad, right? Her smiles were real. They didn’t seem fake.

I wanted to embrace her, to comfort her. I reached out, and she reached back. Our hands collided with the mirror between us.

Oh.

I met her eyes in the mirror. She—we—didn’t smile.

This is dedicated to all the sophomores who did not survive the arena this week. May they Rest In Peace.

In the building of administration, in the massive office of the main administrator, the administrators were having a meeting.

“Alright,” said the main administrator, who happened to be named Mr. Administrator, “From now on, the school lunch will only serve gluten-free, whole wheat, sugar-free, yet still un-nutritious desserts!”

The room exploded in clapping and cheering. Mr. Administrator waited for the clapping to die down, a smug grin on his face.

“So,” he said once the room had quieted, “What’s the next thing on the agenda?”

His secretary looked at her clipboard and straightened her glasses. “Let’s see… how to schedule all the high schoolers for classes in the most efficient way for us and the most painful way for them.”

Mr. Administrator cackled and looked around the table. He was at the head, of course. “Any ideas?”

A man with shiny, black hair raised his hand. “We could assign classes randomly. It would be pretty painful to the students to have multiple math classes, and none of the electives they wanted.”

Mr. Administrator thought about it. “Yes, but it will be very inconvenient to deal with all the upset students.”

Another administrator raised her hand. “We could convert the football stadium into a Colosseum,” she said, “and the students can fight each other to the death for a schedule. The survivors get the classes they want.”

“The concept is perfect,” said Mr. Administrator, “and I love the idea of having less students to deal with, and dying is very painful, but there’s the law we have to worry about.”

A groan spread through the room. Everyone there hated the law. It prevented them from doing fun things like having the students kill each other.

“Yes, the law,” continued Mr. Administrator, “But I think there might be a legal, non-fatal way to do this that will be just as fun!”

And so, Arena Scheduling was born.

I tried to take a calming breath as my exam was set in front of me.

The ACT.

Around the room, the rest of the tests were being handed out by teach-techs. They were exam editions, so their silver cylinder bodies were slimmer to fit between the rows. They had better cameras to search for cheaters, and their microphones were fine tuned to better hear our heartbeats. In addition to that, our heartbeat speakers were louder than normal, so the sound reverberated through the room.

LUB DUB.

LUB DUB.

I fidgeted with my heartbeat speaker tucked in my front pocket—one of my nervous habits.

Focus.

I looked at the first question.

Stay calm.

I skimmed the long passage and studied the graphs.

You have plenty of time. Don’t panic.

I heard someone say that the ACT used to be to test your intelligence. I’m not sure I believe that—a single test is not a good measure of someone’s knowledge—but even if it had been that way before, it wasn’t anymore.

I read the first question, then the answers. I read it again. The question was not at all relevant to what I had just read.

Focus. Just reread the passage.

I flipped back to the page before, but something felt wrong—no, sounded wrong. I strained my ears to hear it.

LUB DUB.

LUB DUBb.

LUB DUBdub.

LUB DUB lub dub.

I gasped, along with the rest of the room. Someone was panicking, and their heartbeat was speeding up because of it.

And that would not be tolerated.

I whipped around in my seat as the teach-techs found the mutant, the anomaly, the freak who was causing this. A tall girl with big eyes and blond, wispy hair that floated stubbornly around her head. I knew all the kids in my sector, but she had always been especially nice to me. Her name was Sadie.

She screamed as she was wrenched from her seat and dragged towards the door.

LUB DUB lub dub lub dub lub dub lub dub.

Stay calm, stay calm, stay calm.

“We apologize for the inconvenience,” said the lead teach-tech in a high, monotone voice, “We did not realize we had a defect in these ranks. We assure you that the mistake will be corrected. The defect will be exterminated. Thank you for your patience.”

And just like that, everyone returned to their tests.

Stay calm. Deep breaths.

Sweet, beautiful, positive Sadie. She would be dead in minutes, and no words would ever be spoken to honor her. After all, she was only a defect. A mistake. A freak.

Freaks didn’t belong in the ideal race. Things like anxiety and depression, those were a drain on society. And they should never be passed on.

If only I’d known Sadie had anxiety. Maybe… maybe I could’ve helped her.

I looked at the clock and realized that ten minutes had passed, and I had yet to answer a single question.

Don’t panic, don’t panic, don’t panic, don’t panic.

I could feel the anxiety inside me, like a caged animal. But the cage was made out of toothpicks and the animal was a vicious predator bent on getting free.

Stay calm.

I started circling random answers. After all, it wasn’t like they were grading the test. It was just another way to weed out the freaks.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see a teach-tech wheeling towards me, alerted by my sudden speed. I pretended to read the next question before answering it, slowing down my pace. The teach-tech stopped and turned, spotting something else more demanding. I breathed out a sigh as it rolled away.

LUB DUB.

LUB DUB.

LUB DUB.

I glanced to the side and saw Dylan watching me. His brow wrinkled and he mouthed, You okay?

I nodded, putting on a brave face. I’m fine. I mouthed back.

He nodded and returned to his test. No asking if I really was fine. Of course, I could never tell him. I could never tell anyone.

I studied him for a moment longer. He lounged in his chair, completely relaxed. I could tell he was actually reading the paragraph, then answering the question. That was something Dylan would do. He was focused, kind, attractive, and most importantly, not a freak. He was one of the most ideal humans in our sector.

I was not focused, not kind, not attractive, and definitely a freak. It would be a crime against humanity if I were to mess up his family line, after they had gotten so close to a perfect human.

I shook my head, trying to clear it. Attraction was forbidden until you were paired with your ideal partner. I turned my head back to my test.

It was gone.

My head snapped up, and I finally noticed the teach-tech looming over me, my test in one metal hand.

“You have been caught cheating,” it said, “This suggests dishonesty, which is not an ideal trait. You will now be accompanied to the administrative office, where they will decide if you are an anomaly.”

“I wasn’t cheating!”

STAY CALM, STAY CALM, STAY CALM.

A different teach-tech grabbed me by the arm and yanked me out of my seat. I caught Dylan’s eye one last time as I was dragged out the door.

I wish that I knew an Arizona person.

Well, I’ve got family there and stuff, but I’m saying I want to be tight with someone. Be bestest buddies. You’re probably wondering why. You’re might be thinking, “I’m wondering why.” Or you’re thinking, “Hey, that’s not what I was thinking!”

Am I right or am I right?

Sorry. Arizona buddy. There’s only one reason I would want to have a buddy in Arizona. And it’s because…

Actually, it’s probably easier to give you an example.

Me: Hi Arizona buddy

Them: hi Utah buddy, why are you texting me?

Me: I just wanted to see how you were doing

Them: aww thanks. I’m doing good but it’s freezing this week it was like 61 degrees yesterday!

Me: wow that sounds really hard

Them: I know right! It was so cold that I had to wear two coats to school

*awkward texting pause because I left them on read without responding*

Them: Soooo, how was your day?

Me: It was great!

Them: how’s the weather for you it must be even worse there

Me: actually today was so warm it made me so happy

Them: that’s crazy that it’s warm there how hot did you say it was?

Me: 37 degrees

Them: you’re joking right?

Me: no joke it actually got that warm

Who wouldn’t want an Arizona friend?

He used to smile at me like that.

But I didn’t want to let him in. I was too afraid of how it would be if he left.

Just a friend. He’s just a friend.

If he was just a friend, then why did all my other friends tease me?

I must have let him in by accident. So why was I okay with that?

But then it worked. All the sudden, he really was just a friend. My friends stopped teasing me. And I got what I wanted.

What I wanted.

What I thought I wanted.

What I pretended I wanted.

I don’t want to think about what I had really wanted. But I wish…

I wish I had smiled back.

So I’ve got this plant on my windowsill. Well, it’s two plants that share a pot. One is named Planty, the other is Amber. And I bet there’s not another plant in the whole world named Planty. It’s probably the most unique thing I ever thought of.

Anyway, I got these two sister plants in 8th grade. Potted them myself. And then I named them and grew attached to them and put them on my windowsill where I quickly forgot about them. Except for twice a month when I water them. Most plants in our house only last a month or two, but Planty and Amber are pretty resilient. I used to think it was my very attentive care.

It’s not my attentive care. It is definitely not my attentive care.

So even with some neglect, these two plants continued to grow. By now, they’ve lived longer than any of the fish from my childhood (which isn’t saying a lot…)

Now, even though these plants are growing, they aren’t really thriving. In fact, there are times when they are barely clinging to life. Any day now, they’ll go to plant-and-fish heaven.

Since it’s hope week though we’re going to take this in a positive direction instead.

When it gets hard, Amber and Planty don’t give up. Sure they loose loose leaves and branches, but they just grow new ones. And then more new ones. They’re always growing towards the light.

And I just realized its been more than a month since I’ve watered them. I’ll be right back.

Planty and Amber just went through a hard time. But they made it through. And now they can finally thrive.

Just so we’re clear, me neglecting the plants is symbolic of their hard things that they made it through.

Oh wait.

I think I know why all my fish have died.

I sighed from joy as I got in the line for splash mountain. It was a good thing Disneyland had long lines, because it would be hard to handle all the happiness otherwise!

“Mom?”

I looked down. “Yes Simba?”

“I’m thirsty,” Simba whined.

“Me too,” agreed Rapunzel.

“Is it because we’re in line for a water ride?” I asked, chuckling.

“Maybe,” Simba said.

“Well, we can go get a drink after, okay?”

“Okay!”

He walked away and started swinging on the banister. Rapunzel frowned at something and tugged on my shirt.

“Hey mom, who’s that?” Rapunzel asked, pointing.

I followed her gaze. There, only a couple hundred meters away, was Shrek. I gasped.

“Who is it mom?”

I shook my head, “I shouldn’t say his name.” Ever since Disney had taken over the entire entertainment market, every non-Disney movie was banned. Even if it was from a studio owned by Disney.

“He kinda looks like a big, ugly frog,” Simba said.

After my initial shock faded, I realized it wasn’t actually Shrek. It was just a man in a Shrek costume. The costume seemed to be very old, and it was falling apart. I heard him yelling something, and I strained to hear it.

“Death to Disney!” Shrek proclaimed, “Let creativity flow!”

As I stared at Shrek, dozens of other banned movies from my childhood came to mind. I remembered that there used to be books other than Disney fan fiction. Video games that weren’t Disney themed. How had I forgotten? I began hearing mumbles from those around me.

“I used to watch Marvel movies with my friends!”

“They took away a book I’d been writing for years.”

“I forgot why all my shelves were empty, I just went and bought Disney junk to fill them!”

One comment hushed the rest of us.

“My daughter! They took away my daughter because her name was Astrid! And then I forgot about her!”

Then it all came back. My friends, my family, my teachers. So many of them had non-Disney names, and they had all disappeared. The rest of us never looked for them. I remembered my school felt so empty after they were gone, but I couldn’t remember if it had ever been more full. I was one of the lucky ones. My name was in some obscure Disney short, so I was allowed to stay. What had happened to all those other people?

The people around me started calling out the names of lost loved ones. My children clung to me, terrified. They had never known anything but Disney. When we left here, I would tell them about the past. A world where people could create whatever they wanted. A world where I had lots of friends, and a big family. A world where we were free.

I could see people moving towards Shrek, and they started yelling with him. If not for my kids, I would have joined them.

Something caught my eye. Security guards. I watched, horrified, as they used their clubs to beat through the crowd, trying to get to Shrek. Some people saw the clubs and hurried out of the way. Many blocked them, not willing to submit. Not again. The security guards casually hit them aside, as though they weighed nothing. Before long, they were dragging Shrek away. One guard threw something grey and round in the air. I watched as it flew up, then slowed and plummeted towards the ground. Then, it shattered—

I blinked and looked around. I felt like there had been something I had just been doing, but I had no idea what it was.

“Mom, I’m thirsty!” Simba said.

Oh! That must have been it.

“We can get a drink afterwards.” I said. I picked up Simba, grabbed Rapunzel’s hand, and stepped forward in line.