Instead of an doing an angry dance, I’m writing a frustrated blog post

Dear football players,

Hey, it’s me. The one girl you cut in front of in the lunch line? I guess I should be a little more specific, since you cut in front of people all the time. I’m the one girl who told you not to cut in front of me. And then you laughed? Yeah, that was me. It was just so funny. And then you took the last breadsticks? Hilarious!

So here’s the deal. I was running at the skyridge track today. After my workout, I decided I wanted to do a barefoot grass mile for cool down. Maybe you’ve done a grass run before. It’s a good thing to do for running form and injury prevention, or if you’re recovering on an injury. Usually I would do it behind the football stadium, where all the practice fields are, but someone left cans on the ground back there, and they got shredded by the lawn mover. A kid stepped in the shards and had to get stitches. I’m pretty sure the cans were from you. If you were wondering.

So since those back fields have razor sharp metal scattered all about, I decided I would be better off running grass at the track, around the football field. And I was having a lot of fun too. The sprinklers had just been on, so the grass was wet and refreshing. I was going at a nice, relaxed pace, and I was able to cheer for my friends who were still doing the workout. It was great.

But you ruined it.

I was going along, enjoying life, but then I stepped in a mouth guard.

A mouth guard!

Like, the kind you put in your mouth!

And I was barefoot. And I stepped on it!

So I would like to request that you do not leave your used mouth guards on the ground by the track.

Thank you,

The one girl you cut in front of in the lunch line.